Holidays, Blended Families & Co-Parenting.
The holiday season is upon us, are you trading every other Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, etc? Why are we doing this to our children? As parents we should understand and accept that our children would want to be with both parents for the holidays. So, why not blend our families? Novel concept, a little difficult to swallow, however extremely doable. You heard me, I'm not saying shack up with your ex, what I'm saying is invite your ex with their significant other to the holiday brunch, dinner and or party. Be the grown-up, show your child that their parent can behave as such, an adult! Listen up ladies and gentlemen, if you're in a new relationship, it is your responsibility to let your new partner know that your ex is just that, an ex and that they are the parent of your child. If your new spouse feels threatened by your ex it is your responsibility to clear the tension, set their mind at ease and work all kinks out. Parenting takes a village, a tribe of people to work together towards the same goal. So buckle up and settle down, you're the adult start acting like one. Holidays, birthdays and other events will roll around, it's important to understand that your child will need and want both parents around. Everything that is done is for the betterment of your child. Call your ex, invite them over and make new memories. Co-parenting goes way beyond 18 years, it will be your entire lifetime. You are connected to your ex for the rest of your lives. You'll be sharing, discussing and collaborating experiences that your child will go through, college, careers, marriage and future children. Life evolves and you two as parents will need to adapt to the cycle of life. Let's take Mariah Carey who's freshly divorced, in a new relationship, spent Thanksgiving with her children and her ex. This speaks volumes, first off she's letting her new beau know that her children will always come first, her ex, the children's father will always be in their lives and will not be depriving her children. This is parenting at its finest, these two adults placed their feelings, wants and needs on hold to show the children that mom and dad can get along for them, that they can share a holiday, foster the love they have for their children and still be autonomous. It's time to realize that the joy our children will experience is by far better then anything that we will feel. We will make sacrifices, push aside our own feelings to make sure our kids have what they need. That is what being a parent is all about. The next party you're planning take a moment and invite your ex with their new family, it might be hard at first, uncomfortable but once you get in the groove of things it will become second nature. It doesn't matter what others think or say about the unconventional relationship you'll nurture with your ex, all that matters is what your kids will think and say. Make sure you give them something to look up to, you're setting up the foundation for their life skills, healthy boundaries, building relationships, setting up expectations and connections with others. Coexist with your ex, beautiful things will occur for the sake of your children and your sanity. It's easier to build strong children then broken adults.