Would someone please explain to me, what and why one parents mind set is, when he tells his ex spouse, "you can't come to the schools open house because it's my night!". What does this even mean? I understand your night and my night, I understand custody agreements and arrangements but does this really need to be enforced during "open house" at school or let alone any activity that is beneficial for the child to have both parents active?
How is this even a question, when you have a parent that wants to be in the loop of their child's education, progression and overall growth? What does it matter who's night it is? It's not like the parent is crashing at Pinkberry (yogurt shop), they want to come to the schools open house. It's still your night, your child will go home with you, your child is spending the rest of the evening with you. How and why would you ban your ex from the open house and then say if you show up I will cause a scene. Now not only are you alienating the parent, your threatening to cause embarrassment to your child in their environment, in front of their peers and teachers. Why would you do and say this? Why are you, as a parent this angry? Why are you not behaving as an adult, as a parent, thinking without anger and think of your child first.
There isn't anything to gain from this other then being happy you've purposely banned your ex and brought confusion to your child. If this was your goal, then you've accomplished it and in the process you've singly handedly destroyed your child little by little. The key words here are, "your child". Your child is lucky to have both parents involved and want to see him/her grow and evolve. Your child's education is important to your partner, this isn't an optional or up for consideration subject. Both parents need to be involved and if it happens to fall on your night, then so be it.
I'm not saying go to family dinner and sing kumbaya together, what I'm saying is be cordial to one another and greet the other parent at school. Both parents should talk to the teacher, both parents should discuss opportunities, concerns, triumphs with the teacher in front of one another. There shouldn't be any secrets or surprises when it comes to your child's education. Let's be clear, I'm consistent when I say a child needs to see unity even if the parents aren't together.
A child must know that their parents will not waiver and when one parent says something the other parent will back it up. Listen up parents, if you don't agree about a decision DO NOT HAVE THE CONVERSATION in front of the child, this discussion takes place privately. The child only needs to know mom and dad are unison, yes, they are separated but they stand together when it's regarding me, said child.
So please the next time it's your night and there's a function that would normally involve both parents please, be the bigger person and say, "great see you there". Again, I'm not saying hold hands and skip in the park, I'm saying be the adult, put your child's needs and wants first. I promise you in the long run it will be beneficial for your child and healthy for everyone..