I'm sorry? Don’t Utter Those Words!
I was at the market the other day and there was a mom there with her twin toddler boys. One boy was calm and the other was having an epic meltdown. Imagine if you will, uncontrollable, inconsolable, runny nose with snot everywhere, thrashing around in his mother's arms like a fish out of water and the mom was apologizing to me and other people in the market aisle. I looked at her and said, "I have a toddler as well and you don't need to say you're sorry". I then asked her if she needed help, the look on her face, relief. I asked her if I may offer her son a lollipop, spelled out the word lollipop because her toddler would have understood what I was asking and if mom had said no, I didn't want the child flipping out more. Mom said "that’s ok", I asked the little boy if he'd a like a lollipop, as I'm trying to avert her sons attention there was another woman watching us, the mom with the cranky toddler acknowledges her and as she's about to utter an apology to the other woman, she waves her hand and says, “I have a toddler as well, you look like you need tissue”.
This interaction took 10 minutes, which probably felt like an eternity to the crying toddlers mom. What took me back was the fact that she was apologizing, I then stopped and thought about myself, I apologize as well when my child is having a temper tantrum and when we’re in public. Then I realized all mom say they're sorry, in reality we have nothing to be sorry for. When our children are having their tantrums, all that’s happening is a raw expression of their emotion being expressed the only way they know how. It's a big feeling for such a little person, an emotion is energy in motion. I believe as moms we should stop apologizing, we feel guilty that our child is losing their mind and exposing others to this tirade but really all that matters is that we stay calm to soothe our child. If you see a mom with a child that's having a meltdown, ask the mom if they need help, if they do, then ask what you can do. As moms we shouldn’t judge, smirk, give advice or anything else that's negative because we have all been in that situation and we need to stick together.
Motherhood should be a village of woman that band together instead of breaking each other down.
So when you see a mom that's overwhelmed by a situation ask if assistance is needed, that moment in time is exceptionally and mentally exhausting for all parties involved, don't add to the stress. Place aside your opinion and the pointy finger, it could very easily be you in that situation. To the moms that are in the moment of this overwhelming emotional outburst, breath, take the crazy moment in, don't apologize to anyone for anything and if anyone is judging you, shame on them.
Moms if you think another mother has it better than you, you're wrong. We all react differently, we all hold it together or hide it better then others but we are all going through the same journey. Please don’t feel guilty for your childs oversized expression at an impromptu moment, it could have been your child having a tantrum in front of the President and those parents took it with a grain of salt just as we all should.