Taking Care of Yourself After Divorce
Recently I had the opportunity to chat with Anne Grey, author of Sex and the Single Girl: A [Slightly Older] Girl's Guide To Dominating the Dating World. Divorce/Separation can be difficult, some compare a relationship ending equivalent to death. In some cases it's true, you expected to be with your partner for the long haul, you trusted your partner unequivocally and now it’s over. Blink of an eye, this person is no longer in your life, how do you move on?
Sex and the Single Girl: A [Slightly Older] Girl's Guide To Dominating the Dating World, is a reflection of what Anne encountered in her own divorce, she magnificently breaks down emotions that are running rampant during this turbulent time and tackles each conundrum head on. Her accounts of jumping back in the dating pool, tackling Tinder is hilarious, in an age where everything is connected, social media can be used as a tool.
This book is light hearted, funny, courageous and most importantly it gives you a different perspective on handling a difficult period in your life. As for myself I am nowhere near ready to date however this book is a great read to remind us not to be afraid, take a leap and be you because there is only one of you. We get so caught up with what is expected and accepted, we must remember that life is what we make of it, make it good, fun, and explore, you’ve got this moment, make it count.
Kathy ~ Maintaining self respect can be difficult when we have other woman judging us from our divorce, our decisions and now that we’re single we are a threat. How do we as single woman not let that affect us?
Anne ~ You do you, is my answer. And honestly, not everyone needs to know what you are doing in your personal life. Do what you are comfortable with and what makes you happy.
Kathy ~ Is it really worth dating after 40?
Anne ~ OMG, yes!! Dating after 40 has the potential to be better than any time in your life. You are still hot and men are all about it. These are our prime years!
Kathy ~What are the top three things you recommend a woman to tackle after her divorce. I know it depends on each woman but from what you've seen what would you recommend?
Anne ~ 1. Talk to a therapist, it’s amazing to have a mirror 2. Have sex, get back out there. If you have read my book, you know I recommend basically fucking yourself back to feeling good. It’s mental, chemical and re-affirming and amazing. 3. Move, walk a ton, work though your emotions as you move physically.
Kathy ~How does a woman shake the sense of guilt of having a partner after a divorce let alone multiple partners after a divorce, especially when there are kids involved.
Anne ~ Honestly, I don’t have kids so I really can’t speak to that… however, I don’t think there should be any guilt involved if you do have kids. You are DIVORCED. Your life is your own. And multiple partners are your choice - I personally don’t see a need to commit to one partner when you have just gone through a divorce. It’s YOUR time to explore and commitments are absolutely not necessary.
Kathy ~ What separates your book from the rest? What was your inspiration?
Anne ~ My inspiration was the realization that dating can be super fun and easy via technology/apps - even as a woman in my 40’s, dating was my biggest fear and dating is amazing… sex is amazing, life is amazing!!
“Sometimes when we are going through a difficult time, like a divorce, we don’t do a very good job of taking care of ourselves. And while we are going through a traumatic and stressful situation, I do believe in cutting yourself some slack in terms of diet and exercise...Remember to give yourself permission to do and feel whatever you want when you are going through divorce. Whatever gives you comfort or helps you get through is absolutely fine. And there will come a time when you want to take care of yourself again. That time will come, I promise.”