It's interesting, when I meet people and they realize I write about Co-Parenting first thing they ask, "Why write about such an unhappy topic?".
Co-parenting shouldn't be an un-happy topic, just because the intimate part of a relationship dies off doesn't mean the parenting relationship does as well. Children are a symbol of what was once beautiful in the love shared, it's important to remember that to co-parent effectively. It's my goal to create a revolution of parents to co-parent effectively. Society's norm is to have parents fighting, bickering and kids caught in the middle, this is wrong on many levels. What should be perceived as the normal is divorced/separated parents getting along, sharing information with another, making decisions based on what's the best interest for their child. What compels me to raise awareness is, "parents should love their child more than they hate their ex".
Divorce is downright ugly and volatile. It's unfortunate, we get so caught up with he said, she said. Our "EMotions" are Energy in Motion, it's up to us to make sure that emotion, that ball of energy is turned into positive synergy. We need to calm down, breath, it's going to be hard, I didn't say it will be easy but you've got to place all your negative feelings to the side and focus on your child and start building a new relationship with your ex, a co-parenting partnership.
Your new co-parenting partnership, will show your children that whatever you're going through with your ex, the other parent is still their parent, it's ok for them to love, be friends with and continue their relationship. Never make your child choose, you will loose in the long run, you'll sacrifice your child's trust and love. Children shouldn't have to pick between parents let alone try to feel loyal to one. It's really up to you how you'd like to set the precedence of your co-parenting partnership. Once you set the path the other parent after a while will come around. You must stay consistent, set boundaries and be true to your word . Be raw, real and relentless with your messages, it's about your children, it's about co-parenting.
It's not your responsibility how the other parent interacts, it's your responsibility on how you react. You are in charge of yourself, you can not fault another for their misdoings or lack of, when that is all they are willing to give because that is all they know. It is up to you to be the conscious parent, co-parent effectively, whatever you do always ask yourself, "is this in the best interest of the kids?", and you've got your answer. Just remember nothing happens overnight and don't give up, initiate positivity, be calm and know that consistency is the key to a healthy co-parenting partnership.