Holidays and Co-Parenting
With the holiday season upon us, are you trading every other Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, etc? Why are we doing this to our children? Ourselves? Let's act like the sane adults that we are and open the communication lines, have a strong union and make the holidays special for our kids. As parents, we should understand and accept that our children would want to be with both parents for the holidays. So, why not blend our families? Novel concept, a little difficult to swallow, however extremely doable.
You heard me, I'm not saying shack up with your ex, what I'm saying is invite your ex with their significant other to the holiday brunch, dinner and or party. Be the grown-up, show your child that their parent can behave as such, level-headed.
Listen up ladies and gentlemen, if you're in a new relationship, it's your responsibility to let your new partner know that your ex is just that, an ex and that they are the parent of your child. If your new spouse feels threatened by your ex, it is your responsibility to clear the tension, set their mind at ease and work out all kinks. Parenting takes a village, a tribe of people to work together towards the same goal. So buckle up and settle down, you're the adult start acting like one.
Holidays, birthdays and other events will roll around, it's important to understand that your child will need and want both parents around. Everything that is done, is for the betterment of your child. Call your ex, invite them over and make new memories. Co-parenting goes way beyond 18 years, it will be the span of your lifetime. You are connected to your ex for the rest of your lives. You'll be sharing, discussing and collaborating experiences that your child will go through, college, careers, marriage and future children. Life evolves and you two as parents will need to adapt to the cycle of life.
It's time to realize that the joy our children will experience is by far better than anything that we will feel. We'll make sacrifices, push aside our own feelings to make sure our kids have what they need. That is what being a parent is all about. The next party you're planning take a moment and invite your ex with their new family, it might be hard at first, uncomfortable, but once you get in the groove of things it will become second nature. It doesn't matter what others think or says about the unconventional relationship you'll nurture with your ex, all that matters is what your kids will think and say. Make sure you give them something to look up to, you're setting up the foundation for their life skills, healthy boundaries, building relationships, setting up expectations and connections with others.
Coexist with your ex, beautiful things will occur for the sake of your children and your sanity. It's easier to build strong children then broken adults.