TIAA is Here to Empower Women Experiencing Divorce!
This post is in collaboration with TIAA to empower women experiencing divorce, encouraging them to take control of their financial future.
150,000, say it with me: one hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Let that sink in. What would you spend 150k on? Save it for your kid’s college fund or a down payment on a house? Tuck it away for a rainy day? All of that sounds great. However, when you’re going through a child custody case and/or divorce, that’s about how much you’ll spend. Better yet that’s how much I spent!
I borrowed money from my mom and I have to say, hindsight is 20/20. If I knew then what I know now, I would have saved EVERY cent and filed on my own. So you’re getting a divorce? First off congratulations, it’s a tough decision to make and life altering to say the least. The first thing I recommend is seeing a Financial Advisor (FA) (TIAA offers some wonderful resources here.
Your head is spinning with everything that needs to be done, what needs to be covered. Most importantly, you want someone that will give you impartial advice, sees numbers black and white and who tells it the way it is. A FA will not only be frank with you, but they will let you know what your alternatives are when it comes down your money. Everyone else around you will be emotional no matter what because they love you.
If you’re wondering what an FA job description is, allow me to give you the cut and dry version of it. “A financial adviser is a professional who suggests and renders financial services to clients based on their financial situation.” Pretty boring, right? But this is the one person who has your back and will not be worried about hurting your feelings or walking on eggshells with you. Getting married is easy, the extremely difficult part of marriage, divorce. Emotions are running high, anger might be getting the best of you, or your pride, but some attorneys will manipulate you into spending more money to hate each other and that will financially drain you. An FA will guide you with what’s important, I am NOT saying they’re an attorney, what I am saying is, you should set your emotions aside, which is energy in motion and channel it to get through your separation as quickly and painlessly as possible but most importantly not go bankrupt in the process of it.
The take away after a relationship has ended, there's no one to blame but what happens next often comes as a nasty surprise to couples. It’s crucial that you and if you’re lucky, both, are respectful, thoughtful, considerate and are on the same page when it gets to co-parenting and finances. If it’s possible seek an FA with your ex, so you both can get a clear picture of your finances.